Her Castle Walls.

After all that she has went through, it only makes sense that for someone that wants to be with her, to try 100 times harder than the previous guy. To climb 100 times higher, in order to reach her. She is scared, scared of those people. Scared of meeting someone is was just like the one who had entered beforehand. Scared of history repeating itself. A heart is very fragile. The brain will do all that it can so that it won't get hurt again. I know this. She knows this.

I knew this from the very start, it would be hard. I would fall off many times. Fall and land on my butt. But, I refuse to quit. One day I will get over her protective walls. One day, I can prove that I am not the same as others. I am different. I want to be different. I want her to know that guys who try hard until the end still exists. I am not a quitter. If I dare to start something, I will keep it going no matter what.

I know exactly how she feels. She doubts because she is afraid. She pushes me away because She doesn't believe. I know that feeling because I used to be the same. Ever since my last breakup, I was afraid to try again. I didn't trust any girl. I doubted them all, I doubted myself. I had walls of my own. But, nobody was willing to climb them. It isn't their fault. I chose to be like that. Which is why I completely understand why she acts like this.

This time, I chose to want to climb her castle walls. The top of it seems unreachable. But, nothing is impossible if I have the heart and motivation to do it. It could be Mt. Everest. I will still climb it. These walls are slippery, It takes twice as much time to climb it than to slip off. But, I know. I know that at the very top, she is waiting. She is waiting to give me a hand over once I get there. I can't disappoint her. I just can't. Not after all she did for me.

It might sound silly or corny. But, she did a lot for me. Because of her, I learned to try again. I learned that there really is such thing call hope. Hope isn't something that can appear and magically make life better. Hope is like an opportunity that comes when everything seems dire. She made me realize that, not giving up is basically how hope comes along. Nothing is the end, it is only the end once you give up. She is right about that for sure.

Today is another day, another day I climbed her walls. Seemingly making progress but at the last minute, I slipped and lost progress. I choked hard. I derped hard. She looks at me from the top. She doubts that I am trying. She feels as if I am the same as other guys who give up when things seems too hard. I look back at her. It isn't the end, no I am still climbing this tall ass wall. Even if it kills me in the end, I will still climb.

I actually appreciate that she cares. She cares about me. She cares whether or not I am trying. I appreciate her not just throwing me a rope and helping me along. I want to be tested, I want to prove myself. She's like a princess trapped behind her own walls. And I am just a peasant with a lot to prove. It means a lot more in the end, when I actually reach the top all by myself. Instead of being helped.

I thank her for that. I thank her because it shows me that she actually cares. That she actually wants me to prove to her. I needed this. I need to test myself. Am I worthy of such challenge? I don't care if I am not, I try anyways.