Simply can't have it my way. Sometimes i want to just give up, give up on my goals, dreams and fantasies just to please them. Yet, I refuse to live a meaningless life. It is conflicting, challenging.
I want to be a good son, yet time n time again. I am not. I want to be a good boyfriend, but time and time again, I am not. I want to be a good student, but time and time again, I am not. What is wrong with me.
I've never been so stressed about life until I keep getting older. So much responsibilities and restrictions. Expectations and pressure. I just want to enjoy life not dread it.
Never on time,on task, on point. Slowly I feel as though I am losing a grip on myself. But why?
Because I am unable to change, to adapt. To understand what am I doing wrong and try to fix it.
Time, money and effort/energy. AM I using it properly? Afraid not.
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