I'm not Afraid

I've learned that, if you really want to be with someone, you shouldn't be afraid. Meaning, nothing to hide, nothing to doubt but all to show. She told me she don't like hiding. Yet she felt obligated to because she felt as if I was afraid. As if I was afraid to be seen, to be seen with her.

I admit that at the very beginning, I was a bit afraid. Because I never done it before. I never got seen before with someone. I didn't know what could happen. Didn't know if I can handle it or not. But ever since, she appeared. I learned a lot. Never before have I felt so sure, felt so adamant at my decision. I wanted to show her that, I can risk it for her because she means a lot to me. Risky being seen, so what?

If she can risk so much, risk her safety, risk her health for someone before me. I can do the same. Happiness comes with a price. What doesn't?

It is the 21st century, not back in the day. We aren't doing anything wrong. We are just following our human right. It is a growing process. It is our human nature to act the way we feel. It shouldn't be affected by anyone or anything.

I don't give a shit being seen by my relatives, friends or even parents. I am old enough to know what I am doing, and what I want to do. I admire everyone who can sacrifice it all just to be with someone. Screw those words of discouragement. I want to live my life the way I want, not be restricted to what my parents want me to do. In the end, it is my happiness not theirs. As long as I can live up to my expectations and responsibilities to them, why can't I decide on who I can be with?

I am really upset at myself for not reacting in the way I should of. I want to prove that I can risk just as much as she can and I am not afraid of anything. Not even my parents. Because in the end, who I am with affects me only. And I want to be with her...