The 9th Month

Of all the months, I have to say this one, I was not able to do much. I failed at planning and forgot to post. Its been a while since I last posted. I guess I didn't really have much to say until now. Things between us have been okay, and just waiting for things to return to how it used to be the first few months. But is it likely. I for one, didn't change but grew out of my intitial lovey dovery stage. I guess I was more careful in the beginning because I cherished her since it had been a while that I even dated someone.

She is precious, my precious simply because I feel so empty without her. Having her to work when I'm on break is so unbearable....

During the past month, we've encountered various things once again. Some are issues from the past and some brand new. I guess I do take responsibility for most of it, for being to careless. I feel bad for the tears she dropped. I just don't know what to really say.

Lately, I have developed an anger issue that tends to fluctuate whenever, or as she says "bipolar". To some extent I guess I am, one minute I feel like I don't give a damn then I start crying and do give a damn. I don't know what to do about it. Somethings just tick me off easily. I guess I lost patience with myself. Not sure what happened..

I stopped doing a lot of things I used to do. I'm not sure why. Perhaps laziness or being to comfortable. The little things I did before, I knew why I did it. To capture her heart. But really once I captured it, I should be consistent to keep it. I should know better. I should take time to read all of my previous posts, to remind myself why I went for her.

I've learned that she changed a lot just for me. She tolerate more things for me. She's grown out of her old shell. The least I can do is to show her more affection.

Through the various arguments, it only makes me realize how wonderful she really is. How much happier I have been with her by my side whether physically or virtually.

Now as my parents leave, I will be more lonely. And during this time, she is really my only family.

We've been through a lot, and its almost a year since we first met. Things can change but our love shouldn't. I can't thank her enough for what she has done for me. Updating my wardrobe, accompanying me to events and keeping me feeling loved. I owe a lot to her and for me to say those harsh things is shameful.

Sometimes I wish I can do better to give her more surprises. Through all of this, i realize I can only start to lose her should I stop what I used to do such as posting. I was very affectionate. And I know I still am, I just haven't shown it much. Come back to me old self..


To RG,

I know I'm not perfect in any way, I know I mess up from time to time. But you and me just fit so well, I really hope we last a long time if not forever. Sure we argue and what not, but its because we care. Life isn't always going to be fair and I just want you to bear with me through tough times. We have to work towards a common goal and build up what we can if we want to have a future together. Together we grow and mature . Learn that the true meaning of a relationships isn't about who buys who the most things, but to see who is willing to stay through all the chaos.
9-14-1. Always . Ily