Smooth Sailing..not yet

We've made it over another hurdle. Another bump on the road. Our paths have crossed and I hope that it would means we can continue on with each other. It is hard, it is always hard when she tells me we should stop and go back before I've confessed. I've been through it at least 4 times so far, and I really hope I don't go through it again. This time, I really broke down hard. I don't know why. I've never cried so hard in so long. Sure, she bring me smiles and happiness but she can also bring me tears...tear me down. I've grown attached to her. In such a short time, yet it feels like we been like this for months. It's a nice feeling. But also brings a uncertain feeling.

Uncertain on what other problems that can arise. So far, it's been her doubts and her worries. But, what if I start to worry about things, start to doubt things. What then?

I sometimes just wish that she knows that, jealousy affects me just as much as it would to her. I get upset too, but I try not to. I get annoyed too but I try not to. I don't like it when another guy touches her like that. I don't like the fact that it keeps happening.
I don't know. Am I too selfish to want her to understand that another guy acting that way towards her isn't what I like to hear. It bothers me that, she says he is just joking. Once is a joke, twice is on purpose. I don't care what the reason may be.

If a girl did that to me, and I told her about it. She would not talk to me and be upset.
But, I can't get upset at her because I don't want her sad. But, is it fair for me to hear that another guy is touching her and she feels like is ok. I don't know. I really don't know. It makes me wonder, if she is fine with it. If we were official, would she still think that it is ok? Why not just tell him to stop it... Or is it because we aren't official, that I should pretend that it is ok. idk....

This is what is bothering me a lot right now, but I don't know how I can tell her without making a huge deal out of it. sigh... Smooth sailing...I thought so but not really. Hopefully I am just thinking too much..